Did I just ruin my career? I’m scared

It felt as if giving my career a new look, a positive twist, a boost. But doubts knocked on my door, braking through without a warrant. I was left with only one possession, a thought: “I think that I just ruined my career.”

My fairly new field is based on communications. It all started with Youtube videos. Fine, don’t feel bad if you giggle. It then moved on to radio, and stationed on online video for two years and some months.

During those two years, my life was a party of scripts in Spanish, on-camera smiles, and a variety of stories, all told to unknown people. I loved it, and I still do. Then, I thought it was time to add prominent names, more experience and variety to my resume. I did.

This is my first month as print reporter (in Spanish, of course) at a very well-known place with an incredible growing pace, and an a pretty talented and competitive team.

Dear Reader, I am so happy. The place, the people, the free food, the benefits, the fun it’s all a combination of goods that can easily be interpreted as a millennial’s wonderland, a Disney Land for adults.

But I’m here with this keyword in front of me, looking towards the sky and rethinking my decision, and missing my video productions, and the stories, and the love I used to get from the audience.

What’s wrong?

Yes, I miss working on video productions. As a matter of fact, I’ve been feeling empty and disoriented since it all stopped. I call it a video withdrawal. However, I know that I am very fortunate to have this job, a position that I took from hundreds of applicants. And I know that this job is not going to be permanent; it won’t define the rest of my existence.

Then, what is it? Why do I still think that I kind of ruined my career?

As of now, I think that I’m starting to lose a holistic perception on how all these new experiences can take me to the place where I want to be.

I think I’m starting to doubt myself.

I’m also scared, very scared.

Dear Reader, I have some deep thinking to do. I will visit myself and hear what it is that I truly want to achieve. I think that not having “things” figured out is at the root of my problem. Well, I had an idea before, but technology changed media, and my dream. Now I need to read my DNA and truly find out what the heck I was made for.

If you are on this boat, please share your thoughts. If you already went through this, please tell us all how you went about it.

Dear Reader, until next time.

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